On Being Right
Differences and disagreements are inevitable in our relationships. They show up in marriages, businesses, schools, and even churches! Much of the conflict stems from the belief that our position is better than someone else’s. We know better where to go on date night, how to raise our children, how to handle the budget, how to manage our department, how to run a meeting, and the list goes on.
The question is, what do we do when there’s conflict between us, especially when it runs deep through our relationship? Sometimes we have to make a choice. Do we want to be right or do we want to have a relationship? We can’t always have both.
In Philippians, there is a disagreement between two prominent church leaders, Euodia and Syntyche. We don’t know the specifics of the problem, only that it was significant enough that Paul wrote to the entire community. What’s fascinating is that Paul doesn’t take sides. His advice: “be of the same mind in the Lord” (4:1). It’s another way of saying, “Remember, your relationship is more important than proving who’s right!” If both parties are of the “same mind,” it’s amazing the amount of conflict that can be resolved.
The next time you find yourself in deep disagreement with someone, remember that you may very well be making a choice: preserving the relationship or being right. Which is more important?