“How did you become a minister?”

I get this question a lot. Most of the time I just say, "It's a long story" and leave it at that. Well, here's my long story. 

Throughout my life and various careers, the very last thing I considered doing on God's green Earth, was preaching. I absolutely never thought about becoming a minister, even though I have always loved church. Ever since my grandmother took me to Vacation Bible School when I was 11, I've either sung in the choir or been an usher, or headed up a group or ministry. I had always taken notes during the sermon, and been curious about the Bible. I was an enthusiastic Bible Study participant, and often my questions made people uncomfortable or annoyed. I knew I was searching for something; I just didn’t know what it was. Never in my wildest dreams, did I  imagine that I would be called to preach.

My first clue that something disruptive was happening occurred when I found myself on the #4 bus going past Union Theological Seminary. I had an inexplicable urge to go inside and ask for an application. Well, actually, I felt as if God was saying "If you don't get off this bus and at least go inside, I will crash you into a mountain." I went in, got the application, and gave God a "There, you happy now?" I took the application home and didn't think about it for another two years. My initial resistance was rooted in my feeling that God was giving up on my career as an artist. I had worked steadily as an actor at times, and my plays were receiving attention, but I had not been a huge success - I was neither rich or famous. Being called to ministry, and all that it entailed (going back to school, stepping away from my art, the increased financial burden on an already stretched thin budget, etc.), was the last thing I wanted to do.

I felt betrayed, but more importantly, I felt embarrassed. The world is full of failed actors and sports stars who turn to ministry as a way to hold onto the limelight and a sense of importance.

And then there was the "unveiling." I was embarrassed and worried about what others would think of me. I did not want to be perceived as a religious fanatic, and this decision felt like the pathway to handing out tracks on the street, or preaching on the subway. After I applied and got accepted at Union, I didn't even tell my friends and family for weeks. Even now, people are still surprised when they hear that I'm a minister. 

My calling has been deeply personal and while I am confident in my abilities and gifts, the spiritual wrestling that I did with God over this call was/is intense. But since I am a writer, it has been cathartic to shape this struggle into an artistic piece. My play, "Slide Show: The Evolution of Radical Womanist Theology” originally began as a nostalgic look at my past, but turned into a choreo-play about my relationship with God in general, and my call to ministry specifically. "Slide Show..." has been performed in bits and pieces over the last few years, but I am hoping to have a reading of the entire show soon.